1 Quote. 1 Reflection. 1 Question.
1 Quote.
“Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
From: Ralph Waldo Emerson
Source: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
1 Reflection.
Every single person has a unique story. Whether they are a CEO, store clerk, or uber driver. Over the last two and a half years some of us have been able to stay at home virtually all day with minimal human interaction.
Then on the weekends we can stay in the comforts of our homes and enjoy the endless streaming options and delivery services. We can even order on an app and write a note for the delivery person to leave the food outside because we want to avoid the 5-second interaction with him/her.
Even when we do want to explore outside of our homes we have plans with friends that usually involve no conversations with strangers. Now more than ever we can stick strictly to our circles and pretend as if no one else exists.
Until very recently, this was the life I was living. In a country of 51 million, I managed to talk to the same 30 or so people. I thought strangers brought no value to my life and I would avoid all small talk. Even with foreigners that spoke English here in South Korea, I would mostly ignore them. I painted everyone with the same broad stroke and thought my time and energy were more valuable than theirs.
At work when I wasn't teaching I would have my headphones and not say a word to my co-workers. It's no offense to them I was just "busy" with things that turn out not to be that important. I recently met some people that usually don't roam around the same circles I do. After an evening with them, I realized I was missing out on the beauty of talking to strangers and forming friendships.
I was missing out on learning about new cultures and lifestyles.
I was missing out on the opportunities to gain new perspectives on life.
I was missing out on the opportunity to share who I am and where I come from.
I was missing out on relationships that would challenge me to be a better person.
Since realizing this I have tried doing two things to engage with people more. First, I no longer wear my headphones in the office at work and as a result, I find I am talking with co-workers and managers more often.
The second change is that I ask at least one follow-up question in conversation with strangers if appropriate. This requires me to listen carefully when people talk, and I find the person appreciates the question. In asking a simple follow-up question I was surprised by how willing people are to open up.
Talking to strangers is frowned upon, but that wasn't always the case. We often don't talk to our neighbors, uber drivers, waiters/waitresses, or the people sitting next to us at the bar. In the end, we are social creatures and our lives are really just about human connection.
Don't rob yourself of those opportunities like I have. I am grateful I've learned that lesson now and not later. So let's get out there and be curious.
1 Question.
When was the last time you had a genuine conversation with a stranger?
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